Crazy Kai
by hinotama85
Summary: Kai is the strong and silent type. But he wasn't always that way. Humour fic which features a very OOC Kai, but then again, not really. 13 for some language.


Crazy Kai

Co-authored by: hinotama85, Kaze-chan and Misuto of Target Zero  
A big thanks to mika-chan who beta-ed for us!

Ok, this was going to be split up into four chapters or something like that, but I'm too lazy to do that. Gomen nasai. This is a collaboration between Kaze-chan, Mistuo and myself. Also, I'm on the hunt for some Kagrra fanfiction, preferably slash, if you know of any and could drop me a line it'd be much appreciated.

hino

Chapter One: Beginnings

Everybody knows the BladeBreakers, the happy-go-lucky Max, lazy and starved Tyson, overly nice cat guy Rei, eye-less boy genius Kenny and of course everyone's favourite, the strong and silent Kai. But I bet you didn't know the real story of the BladeBreakers' first year together, also the story of why Kai is the way he is, because he wasn't always.

I was fifteen when my life took a turn for the worse. I had been talked, well in all honesty suckered, into joining the BladeBreakers by some fat old man with a really small hat. I didn't think it would be that terrible, but it was, oh it was. The first five minutes were fine, I'd dare say it was great, but then I met the rest of the team. It happened something like this…

I was standing in the corner minding my own business, waiting for the much raved about teammates I now had, when they arrived. They all piled in like bunch of rabid animals, as loud as a stampede of cows. The loud kid with the backwards hat, who had just beat me, was smiling and hitting what looked like a walking garbage can on the back. (I later found out he's actually a person.) A guy with freakishly golden eyes and what appeared to be a tail (later found out that it in fact is hair…don't touch the tail, I warn you) was talking animatedly with a dorky yellow haired kid in a violent orange jumpsuit. I must have missed the memo that said we'd be going sky diving later that day.

I thought to myself, 'Self, I can do this, they look like alright guys, looks like they like to have fun, well maybe not the garbage can, but this will be good.'

And then they spoke.

The loud kid opened his mouth and I saw it moving, I heard the sounds that came out but that's all they were, sounds. This is what I heard:

"Blahblah, blahblahblah, blah blah. Blah, blah, blahblah, blah. Blahblahblah, ba-blahblah blah?" and then he smiled.

This was followed by a group chorus consisting of:

"Blahblahblah, blah blah blah!"

One thought crossed my mind "HELP!" It appears they do not speak Russian, as I myself do, and I being the miserable linguist that I am do not, cannot and will not speak English, if indeed that was what they were speaking. Yeah, not happening.

And then it got worse. They turned to me and said, "Bla-blah blah blah?"

I blinked a few times before mentally 'eep-ing' and did the first thing that came to mind. I scowled and grunted.

Once the loud kid turned around, appearing to be content with my, erm…response, I thought triumphantly, 'Take that!' And all was well in my world again…until they turned to me again, this time the dorky blond one.

"Kai," he said, I was ecstatic, that was my name! He knew my name! We're making progress, and then he continued. "Blah-bla-blah?"

And then I fell back on my new philosophy, when all else fails, scowl and grunt. Again, this seemed to appease the savages, for they turned away from me again. Score one for the Kai-meister. My inner Kai danced, singing 'I'm cool I know it, I'm cool I show it! Go Kai, go Kai, go!'

And then they left, so I followed. I wasn't going to stand there by myself like an idiot. They headed to the restaurant. I figured the fat bald man with the hat would join us, and say maybe bring a translator. I waited, and waited, and waited, he never came. In the mean time I was appalled by the eating habits of my new 'friends'. Luckily, the loud one's mouth was otherwise occupied and couldn't engage in conversation with me. Not that we would have gotten far.

After the quick inhalation of food, referred to as dinnertime from now on, they dispersed and I headed back to my room alone, where I cursed my existence. What had I done to deserve this? I mean really, deep down I'm not a bad person, no, I'm serious I'm not a bad person. And so I went to bed and I woke up the next morning and the situation was the same, I'd scowl and grunt, they would talk together, I would scowl and grunt some more, they would laugh and have fun together, and I was alone. And this is the way it was for a very long time. I might have gone insane if not the Kaname, the plant I had recently purchased, she was my angel from above, we has such a connection. That was my first meeting with the BladeBreakers.

Chapter Two: Don't Touch the Tail

_Rei – Well, Kai is the strong silent type. We got that vibe from the beginning. Wouldn't even tell us his name, we had to ask Mr. Dickenson. He seems like a nice guy, but you just don't come up behind someone and give their hair a tug. It doesn't work that way. Geez, I mean you don't walk by and pull a cat's tail!_

Things progressed, well not really, we were at a stand still, I still couldn't speak English and they still didn't know I didn't speak English. I thought things were going okay, we had a small understanding, it wasn't voiced but it was there the same. The walking trashcan has a name, I'd assume…what that name is…well the name department is still a work in progress. They know my name, that's progress; we're working on it.

I thought maybe to show my good nature, which might have been lost in the grunts, and since everyone else was friendly to each other, I'd be playful and friendly. This involved tugging on cat boy's tail. Bad idea, very bad idea.

One minute I'm walking by, giving a light tug to let him know I'm here, and the next thing I know I have his fist imprinted on the side of my face. What the hell! Last time I say hi to you buddy. Naturally he's blah-blahing at me and I'm like whatever asshole. I give a standard run of the mill grunt and stalk away (been doing a lot of that lately) to nurse my injured pride and cheek.

Back in my room I'm still like 'What the hell!' I say hello, he hits me. Now I know where I stand and our 'understanding' has turned into a little 'misunderstanding' and I don't know how to fix it, unless of course you smack people in the face to say hello in China. Yes, that must be it!

Later that evening, just before dinnertime, cat boy came up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder; you know to let me know he is there. I decided to test my new theory on the greeting methods of China. I hit him. Not overly hard, but a good sound smack. I think we reach a new understand. We wont hit each other anymore. Oh, and his tail is actually his hair.

Chapter Three: The Misadventures of the Garbage Can Kid

_Kenny – Dizzy and I both think Kai is a great blader, one of the best. His personality and people skills need a little fine-tuning. He and Rei got off to a rocky start but somehow they got over it, they've reached a kind of 'I won't touch you if you won't touch me' understanding. It may develop into a beautiful friendship, mind you a pretty silent one. Me? Oh sure I've been bullied a lot in my days. I'm short and smart, people get jealous. I've been dumped in my fair share of garbage cans, but now I know how they feel. I'm sure someday Kai and I can reach an understanding…that is if he ever says anything to me!_

Ok, so there was this walking garbage can that followed us around everywhere. I thought, 'Hey, now that's kinda cool, you know all dressed up like a person.' Why litter when you have a portable garbage can. It was an honest mistake; really, anyone would have thought he was a trashcan. I did feel bad when I found out. And I only threw garbage at him a few times. I really thought it was some sort of high tech trashcan, so I threw some trash, maybe he'd catch it and do a trick or something, it could happen. Only it didn't. Little T.C. (short for trashcan) just watched it fall, didn't even pick it up, I had to do that. I was like 'stupid trashcan doesn't work.' So I waited.

An hour or so later, while standing in the kitchen of our hotel room, I had the garbage from my lunch in my hand and went to throw it out, myself, in the hotel garbage bin. When I got there and realized that it was the kind that you had to step on to open it, it dawned on me. Maybe T.C. needed a little persuasion to open up, I mean he did have 'feet', how very clever! So I turned around and walked across the hallway to the other room, where T.C. was staying (lucky garbage can gets a room too). Sure enough there he is on the couch tapping away on his keyboard, reprogramming is my best guess, hopefully working on installing a Russian language setting. So, naturally I walk over, step on his 'foot' and wait. Success! Oh, no, I lied, its just blahing at me. But his mouth did open, I guess I wasn't fast enough to throw the garbage in, oh well maybe next time. This thing isn't worth the work! Maybe he wasn't finished with that reprogramming. Hey, that's kinda cool that he can fix himself! Never thought about that!

A few days later TC appeared to be fully operational, the loud kid gave him a piece of paper and TC put it in his garbage disposal, which looks like a backpack. It suddenly made sense, you must hand it to him nicely and he'll dispose of it. Wanting to test out the newly discovered toy, I pulled a loud kid and ate my granola bar at the speed of light. I walked up to TC and handed him the wrapper. To my absolute delight after a few moments he took it from me and after some contemplation while blah-blahing at me, he walked over to the ordinary trashcan and threw it out. Well that was a disappointment. Not even a flashy light. From then on I just threw out my own garbage, unless it was really far away, then I made TC do it. I really pity the person who paid for that useless thing.

Several weeks later, while up at 2:37 am to use the bathroom, I found TC cleaning out the kitchen. He was disposing of perfectly good food! Luckily I arrived just in time to save a piece of chocolate cake that I had plans for the next day. I just walked over and plucked it out of his hands and put it back in the fridge. Naturally, like everything else in the household he said,

"BLAH! Bla-Blah-blah-blah!"

And I was like 'What the hell!' I was being blahed at by TC the talking trashcan! Geez, couldn't anything in this house say anything else! Maybe TC had a language setting…anyways, so TC was still blahing away animatedly, flailing his arms around, so I scowled at him, grunted and stalked away. Stupid trashcan.

It was almost a week later when I walked into the kitchen and saw TC making lunch, I didn't know he could do that, I was impressed. But then it happened, TC cut himself by accident. I wasn't deep or serious but it drew blood. Wait a tick! Blood? Trashcans don't bleed! Oh no, it couldn't be…could it…I said to myself 'Self, I think we've made a very serious mistake.'

Suddenly I felt terrible, what had I done? Poor TC, I made him throw out my garbage, I threw said garbage at him. Uh oh, bad Kai! To remedy the situation to the best of my ability I went to the fridge, pulled out my piece of cake (we stock cake at all times, loud kid is really a garbage disposal when it comes to food) and put it down in front of him. I made a mental note to explain our little misunderstanding when everyone speaks the same language, since TC looked at me like the cheese had slid off my cracker.

Chapter Four: Loudy McLoudster

_Tyson – Kai is a loner, I thought I'd give him the good old 'I'm here for you buddy if you ever need a friend' talk. It's like talking to brick wall…no a double bricked wall. The talk was pushed on me, since Kai doesn't really get along with Kenny or Rei that well, and seems to try to avoid Max like the plague, so that left me as the go between. Try to patch things up, tell him the guys are cool and we think he's cool. I tell ya, brick wall! And then when I thought I was getting through to him he walks away and then comes back like an hour later and goes psycho! Mr. D I think you found us a real whack job. Those stories about kids bringing weapons to school because they're angry about something…well I'm glad I don't go to school with Kai._

It's already bad enough that I don't understand what they want and they don't understand what I want, like say a translator. And then they constantly try to include me in their conversations, which normally would please me to no end, but really its just annoying. Who actually likes to scowl and grunt all the time? Not I! Sometimes I'd just like to yell "I don't understand a FREAKIN' word you are saying!" Hey, maybe I should try that! Note to self: yell randomly in Russian. Ok, so back to my point. One day I'm sitting there minding my own business, like that's a surprise, what else do I do? And the loud mouthed kid comes over and sits beside me. I raise an eyebrow, what does he want? I mean we're not in the middle of a bey-battle.

He opened his mouth and said, oh what a surprise, "Kai, blah blah blah, blahblahbablah." And so it continued for several minutes, I'll spare you the rendition. I tried to act like I was interested, really I did. But I mean, really, there is only so much blahing one can handle. After a few minutes, ok thirty seconds, I was thinking about other things, like breakfast, dinner, food in general, my piece of chocolate cake in the fridge, ummm…Russian. And then out of nowhere he was gesturing towards something. Ah! What does he want?

I took a calming breath and went through the checklist in my head:

I see no food, he can't be talking about food, we just ate.

sleep? Nope, two in the afternoon, he can't be talking about sleeping.

training? Oh, that one works!

I stood up and began to walk away, towards the beystadium, reaching for my beyblade, which I keep on my person at all times. He grabbed my arm and blahed really angrily. I'm so confused, what's happening? I sit back down and he's talking again. I refer back to the handy dandy checklist.

1. food, but we already covered that one

2. meeting? We don't have a meeting, well actually we could, I don't know what goes on around here half the time, ok all the time. This is a good possibility.

I stand again, this time heading for the house, where we usually hold meetings. But no! he grabbed my arm again and pulled me back down, getting angrier by the second, he was beginning to look like a rabid baboon. I felt like crying, what does he want from me! I'm fresh out of ideas, if it isn't any of those things I don't know what it could be! I give up, I'm leaving. I'm walking away, watch me go. I'm gone. He's blahing at me from the bench and I'm like whatever, I can't deal with this right now. Kai needs a time out. So I'm walking away, I threw a scowl over my shoulder for good measure. Take that. I hope that I am as hard to read as you are, I wish my lonely hell upon you.

So an hour later, after taking my time out and telling Kaname all about my little adventure with Loudy McLoudster, I head back to the house where we are all staying, I guess for intensive training or something. I don't know, we're all staying in one house ok. I've cooled off a bit, Kaname is such a great listener, she really feels for me, we have a beautiful understanding. And everyone is there, lounging on the couches, staring at me when I enter the room. The lull of conversation has stopped dead in its tracks. I try to act normal, natural, try to blend in. I visualize myself as part of the wall. It doesn't work. Loudy McLoudster is sitting there, scowling at me. Whatev-

Wait a moment! He's mocking me! I'll double check just to make sure…don't want to misunderstand the situation; lord knows I've done enough of that. No, I'm right, he's sitting there mocking me! He's glaring at me, at T.C., at Cat Boy, all of them! Hey! I can see you! I see you mocking me! I am standing right here! I may not understand but I can see! I look at Cat Boy and T.C, making sure they see the same thing I am, they are, they just don't care. I'm hurt! I'm wounded emotionally, these scars last a lifetime. I mean, if you're going to mock me, at least have the decency to do it well! I look ten times cooler than that.

Fine, you know what, if that's how they want to play, that's cool with me. Two can play this game. I'm unleashing the weapon, I didn't really want to do this, but they've left me no choice. I take a calming breath before yelling, aloud complete with arm flailing, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU ARE SAYING TO ME!" Yes, that was in Russian.

They deadpan, they stare at me for a few moments, yes well enough of that, I'm going to my room, if you need me feel free to come and get me. But I know you wont. I stalk away after I give my best scowl possible, man I should get a scowling award, I'm getting really good at it. As I leave I hear one of them whisper, "Blah blah Kai bah blahblah bah blah." _(translation: I think Kai has flipped his lid.)_ Yea, well enough of that, I'm going to bed.

Chapter Five: The Parachuting Princess

_Max – Poor Kai. He doesn't talk to us. He doesn't hang with us. He hardly interacts with us. The only times we actually see him is during meals and when we bey-battle, and then he shows up like two minutes before we start and leaves right afterwards. He must be so lonely. Then one day I saw him mumbling to his plant. It was a pretty plant. At least he has something to talk to, so I didn't bother him. I thought it was sweet so I told the other guys, they weren't as excited. But last week the plant died. Poor Kai, I saw him having a funeral out back by himself, so I went and I joined him. The next week I bought him a new plant, because I am his friend and friends are there for each other. If he doesn't want to talk to me, then ok, I'll get him a plant to talk to, because apparently they carry a better conversation. I don't understand why he runs away when I enter the room, I was so friendly, I tried my best._

Oh my poor, poor Kaname. I noticed about a week ago, her petals just weren't the same, her stem was weak and a pale green instead of the bold, cheerful green she usually is. I moved her to a spot with better light, I made double sure she was watered, but not too much. It couldn't be helped, she moved on to greener pastures, may she be a tall spruce in her next life, she always stood so tall. I cried. The next afternoon I held a funeral, a small gathering of our closest friends, so it was just me and Dranzer, we were tight. But no! I can't even have a proper funeral without someone interrupting.

Next thing I know Parachute Kid is standing next to me with a hand on my shoulder. The hell! Who invited him anyways. He was stalking me at my best friend's funeral! The indecency! I said my quick and very impersonal goodbyes to Kaname (I couldn't be too personal with Parachute Kid there) and took off for some alone time, 'cos you know I don't get enough of that already. I thought he'd follow me, looked like he would, but he didn't, just watched from poor Kaname's grave, where he laid flowers down! What the hell, you want to taunt her, she's dead, so put some live flowers on top of her. Rub it in her face some more, I'm sure that's making her feel loads better. What did the flowers ever do to you? They make me so angry.

A few days later I'm still down in the dumps. For the first time in my life I'm really alone, I'm completely isolated. I mean I could talk to my reflection in the mirror, but that's just sad…no I lied, I'll do it. At breakfast I sit down to eat, well try to eat around everyone else. They are machines when it comes to food. Animals I tell you, I might lose an arm if I'm not careful. I'm sitting there and P.K. (Parachute Kid) comes in with his hands behind his back. The kid is strange. I left, I was done eating and lets just say that I never find the conversation stimulating.

Later that night I was walking out in the garden, visiting Kaname, continuing to tell her my woes and then P.K. was there beside me. And then he's standing in front of me with a potted flower in his hands. OH MY GOD! He's hitting on me! Hold on, hold on, let's not jump to conclusions, try to avoid the misunderstanding. He pushed the plant into my hands, blah blahing and hugged me. OH MY GOD he is hitting on me! Suspicions confirmed. This is not good. Parachute Kid just became Parachute Princess. He walked away. This is not good.

Within a week I had killed the plant. Operation tell Parachute Princess I am not interested without saying a single word completed. Plus, the plant didn't speak Russian so it was no good to me anyways. The day after I threw it out, no funeral necessary, P.P (formally P.K.) was there with another one! And so I killed that one, down to five days before it kicked the planting pot. And then he got another one! What the hell! Can this kid not get the hint. I keep killing them and he keeps buying new ones. Somehow I don't think this system is working. So now I have a plant, given to me by the Parachute Princess, that doesn't speak Russian and I don't like. But I'm afraid to kill it, he might hug me again. So it lives, until I come up with another plan of action, sorta like a hostage, my own personal hostage to keep P.P. at bay. Oh the trials of my life.

When Parachute Princess enters the room I find an excuse to leave, I don't want to hang around, he might try to get friendly in front of everyone else. Maybe I should go and invest in one of those teach yourself English books.

Chapter Six: The Yo-Yo Effect

_Tyson – Kai is one of our strongest bladers. But he needs to clean out his ears, he's not so great with the whole listening thing. You'd think someone like him would be all over instructions; I'm beginning to think he can sleep with his eyes open. It wouldn't kill him to ask a question if he doesn't understand. I feel like I have to baby-sit him during practice and tournaments to make sure he is where he needs to be. Well mostly at tournaments since he doesn't practice with us much._

They never ask me to practice with them, well at least I don't think they do. In all honesty they could ask me and I'd have no idea whatsoever. But nonetheless I don't practice with them and they don't seem to mind. Dranzer and I go off on our own and blade on the dirt while they use the dish. Sometimes I watch from the distance, it looks like they have so much fun! It's alright, I'm fine all alone blading in the dirt, doesn't make that much of a difference to me. I'm used to it now.

Later that week we were at a tournament, my favourite time! There are so many people and it's easiest to communicate with my team then since I know they're mostly talking about opponents and blading. I just sit on the bench and when they gesture I go and blade and kick some ass, I'm good at that. Right now that's what I'm doing. P.P. just won his match, it was a close call but he pulled through. Loudy McLoudster is sitting beside me and talking at me with his arms going one hundred and fifty miles an hour. He keeps pointing at the bey-platform and looking at me. Oh, I guess it's time for me to go up and kick some ass. I stand up and go to grab Dranzer.

Wait a minute, Loudy here has grabbed my arm and looks angry. So it isn't my turn to kick ass, that's disappointing. I scowl and sit back down. Loudy just keeps going, his arms nearly decapitating poor T.C. beside him several times. Again he's tugging on my shirt and gesturing manically towards the dish. Ah, so it is my turn. I stand and he gets angry, I see a pattern starting here, so I sit and scowl and he starts gesturing again. Oh for the love of Kaname would you please make up your mind! Up, down, up, down, up, down. What do you want from me, is it not my turn to battle yet or what! Hold on, Cat Boy is going up, must be his turn. I scowled at Loudy, and not just for show, why does he insist on being so difficult?

After Cat Boy finishes off his opponent it is finally my turn, it has to be, but I'll wait just to be sure. Loudy is gesturing again but this time I'll ignore him, it appears that I was incorrect in assuming that pointing like a madman meant 'your turn to battle'. Oh dear, now he's getting even angrier, fine, fine! I'm going! So I'm off to kick ass and do a might fine job at it. By the end of the battle I've hardly worked up a sweat, piece of cake. I sit back down on the bench looking smug and oh so cool. And before I know it Loudy is blahing at me in excitement and flailing his arms like an ape. I give up.

Chapter Seven: English 101

_Rei – I room with Kai a lot when we're out on the circuit because, well honestly Kenny is terrified of him, Tyson can't stand the silence and Kai seems to flee whenever poor Maxie enters the room. We tried to make them room once, Kai slept outside. I really don't mind sharing a room with him, I can have my solitude if I want to meditate, but lately he has been saying the most random things at night. Maybe he doesn't know that I'm still up, but I try my best not to laugh, I know his name is Kai, he doesn't have to yell it!_

Since they are too stupid and haven't realized yet that I don't speak English I will take a hit for the team and buy one of those teach yourself English books, then maybe I can understand what they are going on about. The first challenge was to get out by myself to the store, I don't need them running around and blahing everywhere. Second challenge find a teach yourself English book in Russian. Well I accomplished those, the next step was to actually learn. Oh boy. My plan of attack is to stay up at night and start to work through the book, I've learned their crazy alphabet, and it just gets worse. These people are insane, this language makes no sense whatsoever!

So the other night there I was laying in bed, with a flashlight, I didn't want to keep Cat Boy up, he needs his sleep. Plus if he's awake he might make fun of me and my terribleness at the nightmare that poses as the English language (still assuming that is what they are talking), this is going to take longer than I thought. I was on page five, and so very proud, basic conversation skills.

"My name is Kai." Go me! I said something! What I said I'm not too sure, but it sounded like their crazy blabbering. So I tried again, "My name is Kai. My. My. My. Na…na…name is Kai! My name Kai…IS KAI IS KAI IS KAI!" Have to remember that one…"is Kai."

Ok that is under control, moving on, next sentence. "Ho…how is de weat-huhr?" Hmmm…that sounds right. "Wow is de weat-huh…HOW HOW HOW is de…th…de…th…de weat-huhr. TH TH TH TH TH TH. How is de weat-huhr?" What the hell does that mean! Oh I see the translation, how is the weather? "How isth…is de weat-huhr?"

One more, then I'm going to bed. I am hungry, I'm sure I can do that one. "I aim hun-gee. Aim…a….m….a….m. I ah-m hungee." Oh I am so good. I will master this language in no time, go Kai go Kai go!

The next morning I was in a particularly good mood, that is until I got to breakfast and Cat Boy was looking at me like I grew a second and third head, a horn and an extra set of arms over night. Good, he adverted his gaze; it was starting to unnerve me. What's his problem anyway. I am hungry, haha maybe I should say that! I think I will! Ok, getting ready, set go! "I ah-m hun-gee."

I blink. That didn't go over as well as I thought it would. They are looking at each other, blinking rapidly. Cat Boy just burst out laughing and left in tears. Ok, I'm hurt, last time I do that. I mean I am trying here! It's more than you people are doing. I think I'm going to go sulk somewhere, with my book, better work on that pronunciation I think. I think I'm going to cry, that was so embarrassing. I grab a few slices of toast on my way out.

I practiced, I practiced really hard. And a week later I thought I was ready for another performance, hopefully I'll fare better this time. We were all sitting at dinner and I was mentally preparing myself. I can do this! One, two, three…

"P-leash path de c-ooww." There I did it! Oh, no they are blinking and exchanging weird looks again. So I try one more time, "P-leash path de co-ow." After a moments deliberation they pass me the milk, score one for the Kai-meister! Maybe this English thing isn't that hard after all.

Chapter Eight: The Pieces Begin to Fall Into Place

_Kenny – I was standing in line for the bathroom when Kai comes out of nowhere and starts talking to me. That in itself is strange, since he didn't seem to have garbage in his hand…for once! But I think Kai might be sick…or had a stroke or something, he was talking in gibberish, I think it was English. I'm not too sure what is going on with him. He scares me…a lot. I cried._

Time passes, we're almost at the world finals, I'm pretty sure I heard them say we were going to Russia! I'm so excited! Maybe Tala will be there! Or you know what, anyone who speaks Russian will be wonderful! Only another day until we leave! And then I can communicate with someone! It will be wonderful. Speaking of communication I've been practicing my English.

With my command of the English language improving, time to start making amends for past misunderstandings. First on the list was TC, because I really do feel bad about that. I saw him standing alone in line for the bathroom, perfect! Operation: Introduce Myself has started. I walk up to him and say, "My name Kai." Wait a moment that doesn't sound right! "IS KAI IS KAI IS KAI IS KAI IS KAI!" Why do I always do that! I'm so angry at myself. I go to try again…but where did TC go! Oh, there he is hiding behind the plant in the corner, did I say something wrong? I'm pretty sure I just introduced myself. Oh look there is Cat Boy! I'll try him next…he's not as jumpy.

"My name…IS Kai!" I beam with pride! I did it!

"Blah, I blah blah. Kai blah bah blah blah you? I am bla-blahblah blah blah you."

ME! he's talking about me! I don't know anything beyond that, so I'll try again. "My name is Kai!"

He gave me a funny look. "My name is Rei." Cat Boy's name is REI! "You ok Kai?"

I UNDERSTOOD AN ENTIRE SENTENCE! "Kai OK!" Now he's walking away and giving me strange looks. "Kai, I blah you blahblah see a blahblah." Ok, I'll work that, thanks. I'm so excited! I'm going to go and work through the next chapter! Simple verbs!

Chapter Nine: The Worlds Part One – Tyson vs Tala

Tyson sighed, it was great to be at the world champions in Russia, mind you a little on the cold side. He'd met so many new people over the last few months and it had been so much fun. Stretching Tyson looked to his left and saw another familiar face.

"Hey, isn't that Kai's old friend Tala?" he asked himself. "Tala!" he shouted and when the he turned his head Tyson's suspicions were confirmed. He jogged over. "Hey Tala! What's up?"

Tala raised an eyebrow, it had been awhile since he had spoke to anyone is English. "Where is Kai? I haven't seen him for awhile, we probably have a lot to catch up on."

Tyson laughed, "Kai is back at our hotel rooms, probably trying to avoid rooming with Max. I don't know how you guys put up with him for so long!" Tyson smiled, Kai was definitely one of a kind.

Tala laughed along with Tyson, "Yea he is quite the handful. It took me forever to get used to the constant barrage of conversation."

It was Tyson's turn to raise an eyebrow, "I know, hard to get a peep out of him," Tyson laughed again, thinking Tala was being sarcastic.

"I always hated it late at night when you wanted to sleep and Kai just wouldn't shut up. I used to yell at him 'Kai! Let's play a game called sleeping!' And then he'd pretend to sleep for about ten minutes and then pick right back up again like he never stopped. Kinda miss it now actually."

"Wait a minute! You're serious!" Tyson exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yea, the kid never shuts up!"

"No, you must be talking about a different Kai, we can't get him to do anything besides grunt and scowl. He doesn't ever say anything. Well, except for that one time he went up to Rei and Kenny and stated 'My name is Kai' and asked us to pass him the cow. But that was just weird."

Tala raised an eyebrow, "Well, I guess he would be a little quieter with you guys, he never spoke English as far as I know."

Tyson slowly turned his head to look at Tala, "What do you mean he never spoke English?"

"Last time I checked he didn't speak English at all, I just translated for him all the time. Do you mean –" Tala was cut off.

"Hey, wait here for a moment, I'm going to grab the rest of the team…we've had some serious misunderstandings."

Chapter Ten: The Worlds Part Two – All Honest Mistakes

_Tala – Finally the World Championship was here, I was excited to run back into Kai, it'd been so long! Wow, the only word I have to describe that meeting is wow. How Kai survived without speaking for that long is beyond me. I could NEVER get him to shut up! To think that he is still sane and not a hollow shell of the Kai I knew, what a strong and now silent guy! Kinda looks like he became more independent, looks like I wont have to hold his hand on the way to the washroom anymore, or tuck him in at night and make sure there aren't any monsters under his bed, or in the closet, he was really afraid of that. That year away did more for him than any boarding school could!_

I was sitting in my room, as far as possible from the Parachute Princess when Loudy marched into my room blahing. I was just going to ignore him, I've really had enough of this blah business when I recognized a very important word, "Tala." I was up like a bolt of lightening and out the door behind him. We gathered the rest of the team, it was kinda weird to be included, and headed down to the lobby of the hotel, where I saw the best thing that could happen to me ever, Tala!

I rushed up to him, "TALA! Oh I've missed you so very very much!" and then I hugged him. "These people are terrible! Please save me, don't make me stay here with them!" I grabbed onto his shirt and refused to let go, he wasn't going anywhere without me!

Tala smiled and patted me on the back, "Tell me what happened, Tyson said something about misunderstandings."

I looked over my shoulder and found my 'friends' standing with shocked looks on their faces. "WELL," I pointed at Rei, "I thought I'd be friendly and give his hair a tug, but then he hit me, so I hit him because I thought that was how you say hello in China."

Tala laughed at me and as I listened to myself I laughed to. That sounded so much more plausible in my head. Tala turned to Rei and said in English, "He's sorry for pulling your hair, he was trying to be friendly."

"Ok, him," I pointed to TC, "tell him I'm so very, very sorry! I thought he was a garbage can! Hmm…ok maybe you shouldn't tell him that. I'm just really sorry!"

Tala raised an eyebrow at me, "Hey, short kid, he's REALLY sorry for thinking you were a garbage can, it won't happen again."

TC looked astonished, he blahed with Tala a bit and then it got back to me.

"His name is Kenny, he forgives you."

Oh, that was such a relief! I feel a million times better! Ok, who's next? Must maximize the use of Tala as translator. "Loudy McLoudster," I point to him to help Tala understand who I'm talking about. "I'm sorry, he pointed, I moved, he got angry, I came back. He pointed again, so I moved again, he got angry again. I don't know what he wants from me! I'm not a yo-yo! Make up your mind! I'm good at guessing, I even made a checklist of things to go through, but sometimes he's way out in left field."

Tala turned around and delivered my message. Why didn't I work on finding Tala earlier! This is so much easier! And the message hasn't been lost in between! Loudy nodded at me and smiled politely. Yea, that's what I thought, feel bad.

"Tyson, his name is Tyson," I was informed. Oh, I thought that meant food!

Rei suddenly broke in and blahed to Tala at the speed of light, and then I understood a little bit, "Blah, blah, IS KAI IS KAI IS KAI IS KAI!" Everyone, including Tala, laughed, and I sniffed. I'm tired of being laughed at. So I told them! "Don't laugh at me! I tried really hard!"

"Sorry Kai, but Rei just told me about how you stay up late at night and he hears you saying random things and how everyone thought you had a stroke or something." Tala chuckled.

"It's NOT funny! I was so alone! So isolated! And then Kaname died……." Yes, I shall end this now! I cleared my throat and pointed at P.P. "This guy! He…he's been HITTING ON ME! Tell him I'm not interested! I kept killing the plants he gave me but he wouldn't give up. I don't swing that way! Make it stop! I'm sure one day he'll find himself a lucky guy, but it's just not me!" Tala raised an eyebrow, "Go on, tell him!"

He turned around, I'm assuming he told them what I wanted him to say. Everyone stood and looked at each other for a moment, and then at P.P and then at me…ummm I think this is another one of those 'little misunderstandings' we had.

Tala turned to me and told me the bad news, "He wasn't hitting on you. He saw that your plant died and felt bad because you didn't talk to anyone but the plant, aww Kaname died? I know how much you liked her…anyways, he wasn't hitting on you, he was trying to be a friend."

"Oh," wow, do I feel bad. Almost as bad as I feel about the whole TC thing…I mean Kenny thing. "Ummm…I'm REALLY sorry! Wow that was a misunderstanding!"

Tala related and PP gave me a hug, this time I hugged back, but it won't happen again. I sighed, all is well that ends well. I decided it was time for a change of location and I stated, "I ah-m hungee, lettus go fo foo-od." Everyone laughed, I don't know why, I'm sure I had the pronunciation down pat this time!


End file.
